An Embarrassing Dating Story: Feel Free to Judge

Something happened a few weeks ago. I’m not proud, but in the interest of total candor, I’m going to tell you about it anyway. 

I got super drunk.

I didn t text you vodka did

But that’s not the part that causes some shame.

In my drunken state, I met, made out with, and accepted a date with someone who was not at all my type. 

And then I forgot his name and had to ask my friend the next day. I also had to ask him where I left my dignity. 


But at that point, I had already accepted a date with this somewhat unknown person whom I didn’t actually remember, and I’m either incredibly stupid or true to my word, so I went. 

On this date, I didn’t disclose the fact that I had forgotten this person’s name, but I was very honest about the rest of it: which was that I didn’t remember anything else about him. He seemed fine with this. Which seemed odd to me. But, whatever. So we had dinner, and it was relatively painless. He told me about himself and let me know that he was some kind of environmental professional, which is fine for him, but all I could think was, “Oh no. We have nothing in common.” Not that I don’t love the planet or whatever, and I recycle  when it’s convenient for me, but I don’t love the planet, you know???

Also, he had a beard. And rode a bike. And loved camping. And didn’t eat meat. In my mind, these things qualify him to be a hipster. But what do I know? And let me be clear that I don’t have anything against hipsters, per se, but they’re just not generally the type of guy I go for. So.

We had the dinner and that was fine, and as I said, he was super nice. Then a couple days later, I received a follow-up text. So nice, right?! How was my week going and would I like to grab a drink later? Well, I was not available “later,” so the next day was proposed. I agreed. To be honest, I’m not sure why because I knew at this point that he wasn’t for me, but since he was such a nice guy, it seemed like the right thing to do. 

The next day–date #2 day, just 3 days after date #1 day–he texted to propose 2 date ideas. Acoustic show or comedy club. I was mortified. This was like a real date. With plans and times and tickets and pressure. My co-worker had to talk me down. Now, if I had been into the guy, I might have been more into the whole real date thing, but as I said, he wasn’t my type. Still, I didn’t want to be rude and bail, so I agreed to the acoustic show and told myself it would be ok. 

And it was! I had fun with said vegster! But I could tell he was pretty into me, and I . . . as much as I wanted to like such a nice guy . . . just wasn’t feeling it. 

So I went home thinking that was the end of it for me and that I would have to tell him so. But the next day he texted wanting to go out that weekend. We’re going on 3 dates in one week!!! Commence next freak out/talking down cycle. I explained to my wonderful, patient coworker that I wasn’t interested in him, even though he was very nice, and didn’t think I should go. But he said it was fine to go and hang out, I just needed to tell him that he was coming on too strong with the 3 dates in one week, and I wasn’t ready for a relationship (all true facts).

Now, I still question whether or not date #2 or date #3 were a good idea because, really, if you know you’re not interested after date #1, you probably should not go on more dates. But I was trying to give the sweet vegster a chance! However, I realize date #3 was probably a horrible idea. 

Anyway, I went. Date #3 was a long one. There was a very tiny car and a trip to the zoo and a lovely patio dinner and drinks on a rooftop deck. Serious date. Which, if it’s going well, is a great thing. But if it’s only going well for one person, gets somewhat uncomfortable.  To shorten up an already long story, I chickened out and did not tell vegster that I wasn’t into him. 

A week passed. No texts or calls or date invitations. Granted, he knew I was traveling for work, but still. I thought I might be in the clear. But then, a date invitation via text. It was time to shut it down. And, true to form, he was perfectly understanding and nice about it.

So why did I go out with this perfectly nice person several times when I knew I wasn’t interested? Was I just being nice? Avoiding confrontation? Trying to let myself like the nice guy? I’ve no idea. 

That, my friends, concludes this edition of Melissa’s adventures in dating. 


19 thoughts on “An Embarrassing Dating Story: Feel Free to Judge

  1. I love you!

    The fact that you gave it three shots to ME sounds like, despite what you were initially feeling, you were trying to be open minded. I have friends who talk to a guy for 15 minutes and then decide they aren’t getting married, so why bother. If I think back to how Dan and I first met and I did that he wouldn’t have stood a chance. It wasn’t until we were friends for MONTHS that I realized our “potential.” I also think that spending time with someone who is really into you can be really good for your self-esteem – and vice versa. At some point, you know it has to end, but honestly, enjoy the moment! And you did. And I see nothing wrong with that. You might just need to kiss a lot of frogs. Sometimes they are really nice frogs that don’t do anything for you. And really — at least you weren’t mean!

    • I totally agree with Michelle! I have always been of the mindset that the more you put yourself out there, the better idea you have of what you want versus don’t want. Plus, it’s very flattering to have a guy so into you!

      Also, the night my fiance and I met, he totally forgot my name. By the time he admitted it, we were already living together so clearly it wasn’t a deal-breaker, but it was SO funny to me that he did. We all do it from time to time, for a million different reasons!

  2. Man, I wish most guys acted like that. He’s gonna be a keeper for someone else at least. I loved when Fabian would actually call when he said he would and stuff like that when we were dating. You’ll find your keeper eventually!

  3. Oh my! I think we have all done this at one point just to be nice or to see what could happen. At least, it did not go further into week. Ha ha I have a ton of drunken stories. A few weeks ago, I ran into guys from high school ahhh what a bad idea to start chatting, drinking and dancing with them. Gosh one dude poked me on FB several time WTF who does that lol And the other guy called me twice…I sort of did not pick up the phone LOL I am terrible, I phone I don’t run into either of them again….I will run away.

    At least he was nice. Hipsters can be super annoying.
    Happy Dating!! XX

  4. dude, it’s totally a good idea to give things a chance. i’m convinced consumer culture trains us to make snap decisions about people like they’re flavors of dish detergent. (not flavors. whatever.) my little partnership was 20 years in the making, and i pretty much like it like that. :) how many times can you write off and reconsider in *20 years*-? plus, everyone i know in the online-dating boat says they have more success when they look at it as just meeting people and making friends rather than screening potentital Mates. maybe veglin mchippypants has a totally hot wall street friend- you never know ;)

  5. nice guy? beard? rides a bike? sounds pretty classy if you ask me. I hope he had glasses. and wore plaid. and drank PBR. if he did? and you still weren’t into him? then i’m concerned about your taste in men.

    haha okay not really. but i’m surprised you went on that many dates with someone you didn’t like.

    i had a woman ask me to a movie once and I told her I hated movies. Just to not go on a date. that was a long time ago tho. i’m nicer now. i think…

  6. Hahaha Melissa, this was so me a few weeks ago! I got super drunk, met this guy and had a great night at the bar dancing and whatnot then I went home and couldn’t remember a thing!! My friend sent me a picture with the guy and he was SO cute and I had his number but didn’t know his name. I had my friend text him and ask him for me. Hahaha
    We chatted for a week or so and I found out he was way older and had kids so my interest went away but at least I had a great night!
    You had to go out on #1 to find out if you actually liked the guy or not bc you can’t exactly trust your drunken brain. Don’t beat yourself went out and had fun. Consider if practice for the real thing :)

  7. I died when you called him vegster! I was rooting for the dude throughout the whole story….but if you do not have the za-za-zooms…well, ya just don’t! You tried it out and just being open to dating is a good thing. Keep having fun my friend…no FML…your life rocks :-)
    PS. I had a story (or three) like this before meeting my husband ;-)

  8. Sandra says:

    I have to say I think this was totally sensible of you. My bff met her husband via online dating and went on the first date with him and was so not into him and it was kind of awkward and they met in a restaurant. He asked her for a second date and she thought, what the hey, went and they met at a dog park with his dog (she didn’t have one but likes dogs well enough). It was a much more relaxed atmosphere etc… anyway to make a long story short, she met her “Mr. Darcy.” Sparks literally flew on the second date. You just never know. :)

  9. thehinzadventures says:

    OMG…you just gave me the best laugh with that someecard rt before my massage. i will have to pin it afterwards….and then mail it to my mom who used to take my phone away from me when i started drinking….yup…i am a drunk texter. i know…i thought it would go away…but it really hasnt. lol

    stop going on crap dates…what did we talk about??. Everytime you go out with someone who is not the one…you remove the possibility to meet the one.
    Look at Beth….I told her that, she came to visit, she met a barbados guy….and NOW wedding in st kitts in a month! crazy, but true.

    you are so amazing….the moral of the story is…come visit me!!

    xoxo from Trinidad

    • For the record, I am just now getting around to writing this, but didn’t go on any more dates after our discussion about this! Promise! And no more crap dates. Or dates with guys that aren’t awesome to me. I deserve someone nice!


  10. you are too cute…..i think it’s great that at least you are putting yourself out there! i know so many people that did not have that ‘love at first sight’ kind of thing. a lot of my friends will say that they were not even attracted to their sig. other at first…..i dont know….i still say there has to be a ‘little’ spark there……but good for you for trying! and as one of the above commenters posted, he will be that special someone for another girl…just not you! at least we get to read about your crazy adventures and they sure are entertaining! xo

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